A business mentor is an experienced professional who offers advice and direction to a person who is starting out on, or at a much more primary stage of, their career journey. The phrase has entered the business lexicon to describe the natural act of seniors giving advice, and even the “taking under their wing”, of promising junior employees with whom they share a rapport. The adopting of the mentor to mentee relationship as a standard of modern day business parlance points to the importance which such relationships are viewed and seen as a crucial element of corporate success.
The general understanding of the phrase mentor is that it is a free of charge, altruistic service offered by a successful person in their field to a promising, more junior employee. So the question may be reasonably asked, “what’s in it for the mentor?”, and the answer is that it is human nature to want to help those in whom we see promise and, perhaps, an earlier version of ourselves. To be asked to act as somebody’s mentor is a form of flattery which means that the mentee holds you in high regard and it is natural to respond well to such appreciation.
Charging for mentorship is entering into the consultancy field. Yes the lines are beginning to blur a little with various websites setting up offering to match mentors with mentees for a fee in an arrangement whereby the mentor usually receives some financial compensation as well. However an ideal mentor mentee relationship is one based on mutual respect, whereby both parties benefit from the relationship in different ways and where the mentee always does their best to repay the mentor to show their gratitude for his/her expertise.
A lot of business writers say that you should define the type of mentor you want and then try to find someone who ticks those boxes but I have often found that the people who come into our lives as mentors are often the result of a chance piece of networking, a local business person who we meet at neighbourhood event or a more senior employee with whom we work, albeit briefly, on a project with. The common denominator is that we respect, admire and share a certain chemistry with them. Enough that makes going to them for advice or picking their brains about certain business topics seem like a natural progression rather than a forced request. Obviously at times we will need to be more forthright about our intentions to meet again if there is a danger or losing contact but in general what we are seeking is an authentic rapport with someone in a position to guide us on our path. Therefore keep your mind and your eyes open and remember you can have more than one mentor in your life: most very successful people do.
Just as the internet has changed every other aspect of doing business so too has it increased the range of people who we can reach out to as potential career mentors. Of course if the person in question is geographically far away it will be difficult to create the same type of close relationship inherent in the best mentor mentee relationships but it does provide us with the opportunity for contact with people who previously would have remained outside our remit.
Having a great Linkedin page and a strong digital presence are fundamental to creating the right impression with a possible mentor. As is observing good social etiquette as described in this article by best-selling author Melanie Dodaro.
The net has also been the catalyst for other positive initiatives in the mentorship world such as the mentorship movement in South Africa. This non-profit company aims to connect South Africans in need of mentorship with people who have the necessary experience to provide it free of charge.
Honesty above all else
As someone who you respect and whose opinion you value you should be ready to accept hearing uncomfortable truths about yourself from your mentor. Give them your encouragement to be honest and direct with you. If you have chosen a good mentor it is very likely that this feedback will be accurate and that you will need to hear it.
At the same time don’t fall into the trap about making the conversation about yourself all the time. This should only be a small aspect of your interaction with your mentor however it is important that you encourage the intimacy which permits your mentor to speak frankly about you and the impression you give.
Most people enjoy having an avid listener hang on their every word so offer that to your mentor. Ask them about themselves. Their lives. The greatest challenges they have overcome and what they are proud of. Don’t limit these questions to the working world (at the same time use your common sense regarding what is appropriate and inappropriate but general, open questions such as ‘what motivates you?’ or ‘what is your advice on combining family and professional life?’ naturally extend beyond the boundaries of the corporate world and serve to create an authentic bond between you.
Specific career questions
The questions you can ask your mentor are limitless, in the meantime here is a link to 40 of the best by business coach Jo Miller, and will often be more tailored to your individual relationship and field than those above. The characteristics which they should reflect is that they are well thought out, respectful and incisive. Having someone of experience give their time willingly is a privileged position to find yourself in so all of your communication should reflect that.
Another question you might want to ask your mentor is ‘what can I do for you?’ to repay him/her for the help they give you. A great mentor is worth his/her weight in gold so even if you don’t possess currency, and that would probably be inappropriate anyway, always make sure to show your gratitude to someone willing to take on that role.
Written for CareerJunction by Mark Dempsey.
