Knowing when to say ‘no’ and saying it diplomatically and clearly can be one of the most important life and career skills we can learn. It can save us and those around us time, resentment and the creation of future problems. So if you have gone through the job application process, done the interview(s) and received the job offer but somewhere during the process your willingness to take the position has changed from yes to a no how do you go about delivering the message.
The recruitment process can be a time consuming, frustrating process. The majority of the time the interviewers know quite quickly into the interview that those candidates called are not who they are looking for and yet, fair play dictates that the interview is carried out in full. It can also be a repetitive process so if a company has made you an offer you intend to reject show your appreciation for the time and effort that have put into the process, and for considering you a worthwhile future colleague. So whether you are communicating by phone, email or letter always start by saying that you appreciate the offer they are making, how it was a difficult decision to make and to thank them for the time they took to interview you and respond to your questions.
In the professional world time is a commodity. There is no need to give a long-winded explanation as to why you are not taking the job. Be polite. Be brief. Be straight to the point. Once you have shown your appreciation for the offer as mentioned above a simple, ´I have decided to take another offer´ or ´I have decided that now is not the right time for me to leave my current position´ is sufficient. If you wish to give any more information as to the reasoning behind your decision as a means of opening further dialogue or merely as a matter of courtesy that is your decision but whatever you reveal keep it short.
There are many ways of saying any one thing. Yes, the real reason you may not want to take the job is because you think the boss is an idiot and can´t imagine working for him or her, however a simple ‘I have decided to explore other avenues’ will suffice.
1. Don´t bang the door on your way out
This another way of saying leave the door open for future contact. Most industries even in big cities are communities in their own right so smooth the path for future meetings by acknowledging the possibility now. A simple, ´It was very nice to meet you and I look forward to crossing paths again in the future´, or ´Thank you again for your time and consideration I wish you all the best for the future´, is all that is needed.
2. As soon as possible
As the old adage goes, ‘Time is money’. Yes and it’s also quality time spent with our families, friends or doing the things we love. So as soon as you know for sure: let them know. This gives recruitment more time to offer your position to the other candidate in contention and to finish their workload in time.
3. Make contact by phone initially.
Remember ASAP. That’s the reason you let the interviewer know that you are turning down their offer by phone initially. It´s the quickest route from ‘A’ to ‘B’ and allows them to get back to finding your alternative immediately. It also avoids possible problems such as unread emails or lost mail. You can, and should, subsequently let the interviewers know in writing but the phone call comes first.
4. Make contact with everyone who interviewed you if possible
It is always a nice mark of respect to communicate your decision to everyone who was involved in interviewing you if possible. Not only is it nice to be nice and gives us a feel good factor to do the right thing but you never know when and where you might see these people again. For some more information on these principles have a look at this article by Jacquelyn Smith.
Before you do say no remember you are crossing the Rubicon. Once said it can’t be unsaid and it is very unlikely you will be given the job should you change your mind. So before that make sure it’s for the right reason. With that in mind sometimes no is the right answer.
The salary is too low: ultimately we go to work to get paid for our industry and talent and if you are not offered a wage which you feel is reasonable then you should walk. However before you do. Remember a first offer is rarely a last offer and if you are prepared to reject the offer because the wage is too low you are in a powerful bargaining position.
The job offered is different from the one advertised: it is always a good idea to get a job description in writing before starting because sometimes jobs can change over the course of the recruitment process. If you feel the job you are being offered is very different from what was advertised and you are unhappy with your proposed responsibilities than that is a good reason to say no.
Negative information about the company: during the application process you may become aware of some negative information about the company. For example they are struggling financially and may not be a financially solvent much longer or perhaps negative reports from ex-employees. It is up to your own judgement to decide how true these claims are however if you feel they hold water then it would be wise not to ignore them.
A bad feeling in your gut: sometimes it can be something altogether more ambiguous that lets us know that we and a company are not the right fit. Although this isn’t exactly scientific sometimes our subconscious picks up on more clues than we realise and if you really can’t avoid that sinking feeling perhaps you should listen to what it is telling you.
You dislike someone you will be working with: unless this someone is your direct boss and you think you will find it really difficult to work for him/her then this is not a good reason to turn down a job opportunity. We don’t get to choose who we work with and part of any successful career is learning how to work with people who otherwise you wouldn’t choose to spend time with.
You are waiting on another offer: it is never wise to say no while waiting on another preferred option. Instead try buying yourself some time by thanking the employer for the offer and saying that you need a little time to discuss it with your partner or family and agree on an offer window (the time between the job offer and your acceptance or refusal). Depending on your position you may then be able to contact the other employer and ask if they could let you know within that time period. Remember however until you receive a written job offer the employer can rescind any verbal offer previously made.
In the end the only person who can make the decision is you. However if you are sure you want to reject a job offer. Be polite. Be brief. Call first. Write or email second and be diplomatic. You never know when you might see or even sit in front of those people again.
Written for CareerJunction by Mark Dempsey.
